1st Day On the Job

“Oh gosh, you’re working there?”

“It’s dangerous”. 

“That’s a bad school district”. 

“There are so many shootings”. 

“It’s not a nice place”. 

“You won’t like it”.

These are the responses I got when I told people where I had just accepted a position. My 1st real job actually, and the start of my career. I started to question if I had made the right decision. I wasn’t familiar with the area or school district but I knew it had a bad rap. I was young, fresh out of school and full of tenacity. I needed to work, There were other circumstances as well, but that’s for a different post. 

6:00am. Alarm goes off. Guess what today is? It’s the start of high school football season. It’s muggy and already warm outside. Pretty typical of a Monday in the middle of August. I woke up excited and ready to tackle my first day as a certified athletic trainer. I pack my lunch and hit the road. It was like the excitement you get on the first day of school. Nerd Alert! 

Now, at roughly 7:10am, everything suddenly changes. As I crest over the hilltop and peek into the school parking lot, I could see flashing lights through the haze. As I got closer to pulling in, I realized these lights were coming from police cars, and a lot of them. In my head I’m thinking, “What the hell did I just sign myself up for”? This is not how I pictured my first day. The scene I was witnessing sharply brought back all of the comments I got when telling people about my new job. Ugh, Did I just make a huge mistake or what? 

I find a parking spot near where I would enter the stadium. I’m afraid to get out of my truck. As I pretend not to stare or be interested in what’s going on, I’m hardcore freaking out on the inside. My football team is lined up in the parking lot, just outside their locker room. No shirts on. Some, even without shoes. Each being questioned one at a time. This was for sure a WTF moment! My bravery kicked in and I got out of the vehicle; quickly moving toward the gate and paying no attention to anything else. 

My co-worker was already there and well aware of what was going on. This was not his first day on the job and not his first go-round at the school. He knew what the school district and community were all about. I, on the other hand, knew nothing about these kids and very little about the community and school district. But he felt a calling years ahead of me, to work with these kids, even if it meant being involved in unexpected circumstances. He was the role model these young men wouldn’t otherwise have. 

I think he could tell that I was nervous and wanted to ask what was going on. Information was divulged much before I could work up the courage to inquire. Apparently there was a recent murder in the community and one of the football players was believed to be the suspect. No further details were provided. Are you fucking me kidding? This is more than I bargained for. The kids were rather silent about it. It was one of those “don’t ask, don’t tell” cases. Practice went on without any other disturbances. So bizarre! Was I about to be in Criminal Minds or Law & Order? What was happening?

The crazy part, which I found out later on—the kids all knew who did it but not one would fess up. Why? Well, when I asked a few them, I would get the same exact response, “snitches get stitches”! Wait, what? I couldn’t believe it. But these kids were serious. They were perfectly ok with being teammates with a murderer and keeping it a secret. I was baffled. They didn’t want to be next! This is how they lived—day in and day out.

Even more crazy. I taped a murderer for 4 years. I laughed with, supported and loved a murderer for 4 years. It’s hard for me to type and admit that. After all, he was just a kid. They were all kids! I couldn’t imagine this actually being true. What could have possibly drove a kid to shoot and kill someone? My best guess is drugs and gangs, which were prevalent in the area. Football was the saving grace for many of these guys. It was literally the best thing they had in life and their best way to make out.

To this day, so many years later, I have no idea who it was or why it happened. But I was assured that one of the kids on that team had shot and killed another human being. That first day on the job could have easily been my last—but it wasn’t. I spent 5 more years at that same school district. I loved those kids. I knew they were fighting battles outside of school and football; many we would never know about. Some shared, most didn’t. It was hard. Sometimes I just felt helpless. Other times I hoped and prayed that my athletes would survive high school and go on to make something of themselves. It literally got to the point where the news would come on, and the headline—yet another shooting in this community. I would wait and pray I didn’t get a call. I remember praying, “please, Lord, don’t let this be one of my kiddos”! There were many trying times and days I wish I could take back. I will forever be grateful for accepting the opportunity to work in a place where I could be a positive light in many dark lives.