“Uncoachable”

There is so much talk about “uncoachable” athletes. The kids that don't listen to a damn thing. The “know-it-alls”. But, is this not every kid at some point? It’s nothing new. I get it. Often times athletes, particularly teenagers are difficult. Believe me, I know. I work with them every single day. This is also the time they are so impressionable, and seeking independence and figuring out their place in the world. Many rely on their coaches to mentor and help them grow. However, the term “uncoachable” is merely a catch-all phrase that mistakenly includes athletes who have challenged or questioned their coach in some way. The kids that speak up when things aren't right are suddenly deemed uncoachable because they don’t say, “yes, sir” and carry on. I can’t tell you how often I hear, “You don’t listen” or “Just do what I told you” or “You’re just a know-it-all”. PS—I’m willing to bet this endearing term was coined by a coach. Just saying.

We spend so much of our energy berating these young athletes for their behavior and actions, yet we never discuss the coaches that flat out fail their athletes. Why is that? Why is no one addressing the elephant in the room? I’m talking about grown men and women. Some of whom have ruined sports or even a career for an athlete or athletes. Who am I to say this? Am I even qualified to speak on this sensitive topic? 

I’ve been around sports my entire life; either as an athlete myself or an athletic trainer on the front lines, ‘down in the trenches’. As an AT for many years now, I can say I’ve worked with some incredible athletes and coaches. I’ve also dealt with awful athletes and even worse coaches. In my experiences, there seems to be just as many coaches failing their athletes as there are “uncoachable” kids. Not every athlete is “coachable” and not every coach is good. It’s as simple and complicated as that! 

I have to applaud some of my athletes who work hard every day, yet are being failed. What exactly do I mean by being failed. I’m talking about the kid that outright earned a starting spot, just to have it revoked over political bullshit. I’m talking about the kid that is benched for speaking out against wrongdoing that occurred in the locker room. I’m talking about the kid that is scolded in front of her team because she questioned a play that wasn’t working and made a suggestion for a change. These kids have been failed by their coaches. There are so many more examples I can provide. But you get the gist of it. 

I’m sure if I were in their shoes right now, I’d likely be deemed “uncoachable” as well. As a matter of fact, I never stood down to any of my coaches that did wrong. And I don’t mean played someone over me or made a bad call on a play. I’m talking about serious situations, like off-field conduct and allegations. I’m talking, calling an athlete a pussy and demanding she get back up and practice, even though she was injured and couldn’t walk. If I recall correctly, she nearly army crawled off to the side because no one was allowed to help her. On this particular day, I grabbed my bag and walked off the field in the middle of practice, after an exchange of choice words with my coach. I was disgusted to say the least, that this was our leader, the person we were supposed to look up to and follow. No—I ran away from that bullshit! I don’t stand for that. I won’t ever stand for it. Yes, I was a teenager and my coach the adult, and maybe I seemed out of line. But some things are just inexcusable. I’m not suggesting others follow in my footsteps, because it probably wasn’t the best way to handle the situation. At the time and in my teenager mind, that was my way of doing right. 

I am not one to be disrespectful and I wasn’t normally in my approach, but I spoke up and spoke out, even though I knew it meant I would be punished. Although I was extremely pissed, I was proud to ride the pine for standing up for what was right. I would do it again. Looking back, I shake my head in disgust. This is the message coaches are sending to our kids. The coaches that we trust. The coaches our kids look up to. The coaches that have our kids’ best interests in mind. Get punished for doing the right thing. Ahh—what an awful thing to be teaching. Then we wonder why we have so many “uncoachable” kids. I would argue that many of these kids are a direct product of their coaches. Yep, I said it.

Let’s stop putting all the blame on kids. After all they are just that—kids. Yes, many close to being adults, but still kids. I’m all for “tough love” and teaching life lessons. Some of it however, goes way too far, and even worse, at the expense of kid and potentially their career. All of this is coming to you via myself, an adult. An adult that is taking the side of kids. Yikes! This is coming from someone who witnesses some of the best and worst moments in an athlete’s life on a daily basis. This is coming from someone that loves even the most “uncoachable” kid because I know they have a story. I know there is a reason for the behavior. And as I already mentioned, many of these athletes haven’t done anything wrong. They have simply challenged a call or spoke up during a difficult time, when they were told be tight-lipped. I’m thankful for the “uncoachable” kids. These are the kids that will be leaders. These are the kids that will run businesses. These are the kids that will cure cancer. These are the kids that will continue to challenge and ask questions. These kids are our future!

In no way is my intention to bash every coach that has ever existed. As an athlete myself, I had some fantastic coaches that I looked up to. As an AT, I have worked with and continue to work with some of the very best. I’m sad to say it’s not every one of them however. But please stop using the term “uncoachable” to describe the strong-willed kids that just demand more and require honesty and integrity from the adults that they are supposed to look to for support and mentorship. Rather than tear down these “uncoachable” kids, we should strive to build and mold them, into great athletes but even better citizens.

Kudos to the many coaches out there, killing it. The ones that lead by example. The ones that approach every kid and situation with dignity and respect! Believe me when I say you don’t go unnoticed.  Me, the athletic trainer, the one that is always around, is watching all the time! I know who you are, and I thank you! To the kids that are not “uncoachable”, but rather just shit-heads, get it together! Don’t waste your own potential.