I Didn’t Learn Everything
College—Some dream about going, while others dread the mere thought of more school. I was a dreamer, so making plans for college as a high school freshman wasn’t out of the ordinary. The idea was more a reality at that point and no longer just a dream.
To this day, I can remember the excitement and pure joy that fell across my face as I opened that acceptance letter to the school of my dreams, and a far reach at that—Penn State University. A far reach because I was doubted. Not a new thing for me, simply another hurdle to jump through. The hurdle of negativity and doubt that so many face. My guidance counselor didn’t think I would make the cut. Ouch! In her defense, however, I didn’t meet the minimum SAT requirements for admission. The numbers didn’t scream success, that’s for sure. I was ready for the challenge. After all, I already had my whole career planned. I wasn’t letting someone put a stop to that before I even got going.
Fast forward to college graduation—4 years later. See, I told you I could do it! I never doubted myself, even though others had. I had a great time and learned everything I needed to know about being an athletic trainer. The perfect combination! But in all honesty, did I really learn all there was to know? Does anyone learn everything in college? I’ll just tell you the answer—No! No one learns it all. What’s the fun in that anyways? I’m not trying to discredit or undermine my education from Penn State, because it was nothing short of amazing. The valuable experiences gained and the mentors I had are irreplaceable at best.
I did learn how to perfect an ankle tape in record time. I’m fairly certain I learned how to test an ACL in my sleep. And I learned the best Gatorade combos, like it was nobody’s business. I had it all figured out and was ready to take on the nearest field and put my skills to the test.
Although I felt more than prepared to tackle my new profession, it wasn’t long before I realized that I hadn’t learned it ALL. Oops! There, I said it. Some things were left out, left for me to figure out on my own and the hard way I might add. So let me share what I learned the hard way.
I never learned how to deal with the tragic loss of an athlete from gun violence. I never learned how to face the moral dilemmas of abortion, of child abuse, of teen pregnancy. Those thoughts never even popped into my head. I never learned that I would provide food for athletes so they didn’t go hungry. I never learned how to help a young athlete cope with the untimely passing of a parent. I never learned how it would feel to witness my 13-year old athlete in a casket, following a tragic accident right in front of the school. I never learned that my athletes would leave practice and sell drugs, just to survive. I never learned that one of my athlete’s would commit murder and still be under my care. I never learned how to react to bullets flying over the football field during practice, hearing the echo of each shot—and then the sirens. I never learned what it would be like to experience a lockdown at the school. I never learned what it would feel like to turn on the news and pray it wasn’t my athlete. I never learned that I would grow to love and care for all of these kids as if they were my own.
We learn so much but we don’t learn everything. I never thought in a decade I would see and deal with as much as I have. Sometimes I laugh as I reminisce over past conversations with other ATs. We would go back and forth with the worst things we’ve ever dealt with. As I would listen to one say they put an athlete on a backboard with a serious head injury and another say they had a pretty bad tib/fib fracture to deal with, I would just chuckle to myself. But please know, I am in no way undermining those situations at all. Trust me they are awful. I have experience with them as well. They just aren’t my worst! I would like to say that at one point, one of those would be my worst situation but from day 1, I was dealing with things I could never imagine. More on that in another post! I remember putting a kid in the back of a helicopter. Still not my worst! I know, you’re probably shocked by all of this. Believe me, I was too, each and every time. After each event, I’d always think there is no way that could be topped. I was wrong. Time and time again.
You might think you have it all figured out and have learned all there is to know. We’ve all reached this mindset at some point. I promise you, something will happen and it will shock you. It may rock you to your core. And you’ll think to yourself, “No one ever told me about this in college”. It will happen. Sometimes the hardest things we learn are not learned in a classroom. I’m a decade into my career and still get surprised by things. I learned a lot for 42K a year, but I didn’t learn everything!