The Night That Stole My Smile Forever

It was December 26th, 2009—the perfect time for a couples getaway to New York City with Nick, my cousin and his fiance at the time, to celebrate our recent engagements! I had just completed the first semester of my post-baccalaureate, pre-med program and was ready to give my brain a break and enjoy the holiday with family. What was supposed to be an exciting trip turned into a real life nightmare in a matter of moments. Thankfully we started out with a Champagne toast at the hotel, otherwise it would have been a wasted bottle! 

We didn't go with specific plans, but rather to just enjoy our time and figure out our adventures upon arrival. As we traversed the city on foot, as most individuals do, we were approached by a street vendor. Shocker, right? They are everywhere in NYC. And they all have the same objective—to rip off the vulnerable suckers! We had nothing to lose and no expectations in mind, so we purchased really cheap tickets to a comedy show later that night. I'm pretty sure they promised some big name as the headliner. It didn't matter who it was, we figured it would be a great time either way. A comedy show in Manhattan—yes, please! 

After enjoying a spectacular dinner, we made our way to the comedy show venue. It seemed like an odd place, a hole-in-the wall, divey type of dwelling, in downtown Manhattan. Usually those are the good places, right? I think that's only the case for food establishments. The lobby was packed however, with a bunch of tourists just like us who didn't know any better. Glad to see we weren't totally scammed out of our money! We were finally corralled into the room where the show was taking place. It was bare bones and just had some tables and chairs haphazardly arranged. The lighting was reminiscent of a cheap haunted house. We quickly picked a spot that looked presentable and ordered drinks. Then waited forever before anything even began. I was starting to doubt this was actually happening. After a while, one no name after the other took the stage and gave us a few chuckles. It still beat being home doing nothing. We mostly just enjoyed each others' company, however. 

At one point I got up to use the restroom. I had asked a worker where it was because there were no signs indicating they were near. He pointed to a set of stairs in the corner of the room and mentioned they were in the basement. Off I went, trudging my way through the maze of tables and chairs in the mostly dark room, to reach the stairway. The stairs—also dark but lit enough for me to take my chances, even without handrails. Mistake #1! 

As I already mentioned, this place was less than ideal and not fit for hosting any sort of events. I quickly but not quickly enough realized this was some blackmarket event and we had no business being there. I carefully attempted the stairs, but failed miserably. I believe it was the 2nd step that my heel got caught on the peeling tread. It caused me to lose my footing. As I was falling, I had nothing but drywall to grab onto. You're probably thinking, "how in the world did you grab onto drywall?" Well, I didn't. I fell head over heels, literally—down all 20 of those steps. My face kissed the last step. I mean like big time French kissed that step! At one point I believe I lost consciousness as I was battered around on my way down. The bouncer must have let out some sort of warning as this was happening because next thing I knew, Nick was standing me to my feet at the bottom of the stairs. No one came down with me originally. 

I knew something was terribly wrong. I could tell by Nick's face. I felt weird. I could already taste the blood and could feel that my mouth was in bad shape. My teeth felt like they were not there and if they were, they were not in the right place. I feared what I was going to discover once I got to a mirror. Well, my fear was confirmed. My teeth looked like they had just been kicked in. I mean I guess technically they were—by that last step. My face was unbelievably swollen. The bruising was immediately starting to set in. It looked like I got kicked by a mule and I imagine felt similar. I obviously don't remember everything due to the immense trauma, but I distinctly recall the bouncer jokingly telling us that he once fell down those steps when he was drunk. I was livid. Are you kidding me right now? Who the hell says that? I'm freaking out and that's what you choose to tell me. Like I really give a shit that you got drunk and fell down these stairs? Nope. No I don't. They called the ambulance. I remember being adamant about them not putting a collar on me. I kept saying, "it's not my neck, it's my teeth." Ugh—I didn't need that but I definitely needed to get to the emergency department pronto. So not only am I in New York City, I am now sitting in the ED at about midnight. Waiting and waiting and waiting. 

I ended up with a broken jaw, 8 fractured teeth—4 of my front top teeth were super loose; the 2 front ones completely bent inward, and barely hanging on in the socket. I won't share the details of what they did to me in the ER for a 'quick fix' since they aren't actually dentists. Thankfully other than massive swelling, I didn't sustain much exterior facial damage. Not sure how, but I am still so grateful for that. I mean at that point, would it have even mattered? 

As you can imagine our trip came to an abrupt end, even though I wanted it to go on as to not ruin it for the group. The problem was I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes at a time without feeling like I was going to pass out and fall over. It was miserable. We took the train back to New Jersey, to meet up with our family. 

I cried. And cried. And cried. People would call and offer me well wishes and I couldn't respond. I couldn't eat. Anything. My mouth hurt so bad and I could barely open enough to fit a straw. I felt like my life was over. I had no health insurance at the time because my policy was through the university, so only valid during the semesters. Ugh—talk about being in a tough spot. Yikes!

To put everything in a better perspective—I just finished my 1st semester of grad school. Nick had just finished up his as well. We lived with my mom at the time. We didn't need much but basically relied on Nick's stipend, while kind of free loading off my mom for food and a warm place to sleep at night. We were also planning our wedding—Our out of state wedding. And I just racked up bills for a NYC ambulance trip and ER visit. Plus I knew I had extensive treatment ahead of me. 

Once we returned home, that's when the real journey began. After what seemed like endless trips to oral surgeons, orthodontists, endodontists, periodontists and cosmetic dentists, I quickly realized what I was up against. The first oral surgeon turned me away as I explained this would be a litigation. He quickly wiped his hands clear of me. The next one, Dr. Smiga, was an absolute Godsend. I literally sobbed in his dental chair as I explained what had happened. He was so kind and comforting but had to break the news to me. He confirmed my broken jaw, which thankfully required no attention and the lifetime of dental work that would be needed. There was no quick fix for this. Dr. Smiga could feel the angst and immense worry that I was experiencing. He excused himself from the room and made a phone call to a pediatric orthodontist, also a good friend of his. Upon his return, Dr. Smiga said, "If you were my daughter this is what I would want for you". He then told me before any dental work could be performed, I needed braces to stabilize my teeth and he immediately sent me across the street to visit the orthodontist. Braces? Ugh—are you kidding me? I never had them growing up. I never needed them. Now I'm 21 years old and have to be brace face! This was about the time the show Ugly Betty was out so I just referred to myself as her. I think I even changed my Facebook picture to her! A picture of my actual face at the time would have been brutal. 

The orthodontist knew my story and did everything he could to make this situation as pleasant as it could be. I explained that I needed to be ready to go for my wedding, which at that point was a little less than 2 years away. He said it would be a stretch and incredibly painful to crank on my teeth that quick, considering the trauma, but he would do his very best. Between Dr. Smiga, the orthodontist, the endodontist, the periodontist, and my wonderful cosmetic dentist, Dr. Brown—they had me well taken care of. They understood my situation and made every attempt to help me any way they could. 

Aside from braces, I required numerous root canals, multiple internal bleaching attempts, cavity fillings (which I never had before any of this), lots and lots of composite bonding to give me some semblance of a smile again, and endless visits. I had to get them repaired every few months because bonding is so fragile. I couldn't afford to have the porcelain veneers that Dr. Brown felt were necessary. I would've had to shell out about $75K—on top of everything else. The plan was to recoup that amount in the settlement and have them taken care of later on. Didn't happen. 

To this day, I am incredibly thankful and indebted to these gracious dentists, especially Dr. Brown, for everything he did. Knowing that my financial situation was not good, they made it work for me, picking up costs where they could. Not only did he take care of me every step of the way, Dr. Brown also testified on my behalf in my case. He formulated a lifetime cost estimation for my future dental needs, as he made a strong case for needed reparations. I don't know how it all was possible, but with help from Nick and my mom and by the grace of God, I was able to pay roughly $20,000 in dental bills during that 2 year stint. 

To make a long story short—I did win the personal injury case, however the establishment's insurance company filed for bankruptcy during that time period. Go figure! Unfortunately this meant that the settlement would be negligible at best, but better than nothing I suppose. I think after all the fees, etc. were paid out, I pocketed a whopping $8K—and got it 7 years later. Not helpful! Plus, going to NYC multiple times for depositions was miserable and costly, I might add! 

And to add insult to injury—as a result of the endless dental appointments and my lack of leaving the house for 4 months because my mouth looked horrendous, I had to drop out of school—for which I would never return. This sounds so bad and unlike me to quit, so allow me to further elaborate. With the incredible amount of medical debt that was piling on and knowing that my undergraduate loans would come out of deferment in June, I was panicking. I needed a job, a way to have a steady income. The world wasn't going to stop because I was struggling. That's for sure. But everything happens for a reason—right?

The accident happened in December. I didn't leave the house, other than for dental appointments until April. Why April? Well, in April I received an invite to attend an athletic training networking session. At this point, and with such little confidence in my appearance, I had no choice but to swallow my pride. People knew what had happened. It was no secret. Nick worked with most of the people I would be meeting with. I had so many bills to pay and being a pre-med student wasn't going to be helpful. The networking session led to an interview, which resulted in me accepting a position—which started in June. My first job as an AT and start of my career. And it just so happened to be perfect timing as my very first student loan payments began. Talk about a double whammy. Well, triple whammy if you consider that we were also trying to save for our wedding and putting down deposits. 

Looking back, I remember the nightmare that this was. I remember feeling like I would never return to "normal" again. I never saw a light at the end of the tunnel. It wasn't until long after that I realized how blessed I actually was. It's been nearly 12 years since this horrifying accident, but I remember it like it was yesterday.

After multiple attempts trying to restore my occlusion back to normal, it never happened. My bite pattern is just different—I had to relearn how to bite and chew without breaking teeth because they never fit right. It still doesn't feel right. I’ve learned to adapt over time. If you ever see me pass up an apple or a carrot, now you know why! I have developed TMJ issues over the last few years, with daily clicking and pain and find myself constantly clenching my teeth. This is why I always have gum in my mouth. It keeps me from clenching. My teeth have since shifted. My gums are still not quite aligned. The bonding has chipped and not been repaired. The discoloration continues to worsen. The tooth sensitivity will be a forever thing. There is still the possibility of losing one of the damaged teeth. I was warned that this would all happen over time. But it doesn't make it any easier. And it doesn't change the fact that dental work is still expensive—so still on the back burner for me. 

As traumatizing as this all was for me, there was so much to gain from it. I learned that I was resilient. Although I didn't get back to what I deemed as being normal, I got better. I had developed a “new normal”. I may not have gone on to finish my premed program, but I completed a Master's degree later on. I know I will never get back the confident smile I once wore, but I still smile—on occasion. As awful as my teeth and mouth were for nearly two years, Nick still loved me and even still married me! He's a saint—but not actually "the Saint Nick"! 

I wouldn't be the person I am today without the stories and experiences I've endured. Not everything in life is going to be glitter and gold. Our strength is born from adversity. It's how we handle our situations that makes the difference. I stand true in my belief that there is good in every bad situation. We just have to find it. I may have had my smile stolen from me back in December 2009, but I'm doing just fine! Things are different now, and I certainly jumped over hurdle after hurdle for quite a while. But I didn't let the hard times stop me. I learned to overcome and adapt. 

If you find yourself in a dark and difficult place, especially after a traumatic experience—you have the ability to come out of it stronger than ever. Don't let it keep you down forever. I’ll be here cheering for you!