Take a Break
Take a vacation they say. It will rejuvenate you they say. What in the world is taking a vacation? You mean like miss work? No way. You’re crazy. Athletic trainers can’t do that. Too many people count on me every day. What will happen if I’m not there? Well, I will tell you! THEY WILL SURVIVE. You know what also happens? Athletes and coaches learn to appreciate you. Crazy! That phrase “you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone”—#TRUTH!
In the first 9 years of my career, I never once took a vacation. I lived and breathed athletic training. As a matter of fact, I turned down so many opportunities over the years as I would always say, “I don’t have anyone that can cover for me”. However, that was mostly a lie that I convinced myself was true. For the first 5 years of my career, there was always someone available that could cover for me. I not so quickly realized it was a pride thing and a trust issue. I was afraid that my athletes wouldn’t be given the same care that I provided. Who am I to be that arrogant? Maybe the person coming in would be so much better. It wasn’t even that, though. Everything was routine and it would all change if someone new came in for a week. Who cares? Change is good sometimes. I was more worried about my kids than taking time away for myself. If there is one thing you will learn about ATs and I’m not trying to toot my own horn—their selfless dedication to their athletes is unmatched, even to the point of their own personal breakdown. It’s real. It happens all the time, but you’ll never know about it. It’s just par for the course.
Finally after 9 years and unbelievable burn out year in and year out, I decided I was taking a vacation. It was years in the making, but I never knew if I would actually take it. I was convincing myself that I couldn’t go, but I went. And I didn’t just take a vacation; I took two weeks off—in the middle of football season. Guys, I missed my first ever senior night, of the kiddos that entered high school the same time I took my position at this school. Those boys were so special me. Talk about feeling bad! I felt so bad about it, that I baked them goodies and left a note for coach to read.
If you’re not an AT, you won’t understand the magnitude of taking a vacation in the middle of October. High school football season is the most hectic time. It’s when we are needed most as injuries are frequent and sometimes severe! I would go two weeks without hearing, “Ms. Lydia” yelled from across the field, but believe me, it would still echo in my head, hundreds of miles away. It wasn’t like I was leaving them high and dry without anyone, although it felt like that. I knew they would be taken care of. I was in contact with my coach every time I had cell phone service, constantly checking in and making sure everything was good. The little voice in my head would scream,“Cut the cord, Lydia. They will be just fine”. I still worried. I still called. I still got the senior night picture of my guys that I asked for! That gave me the biggest smile out in those Colorado mountains. Even on vacation, I couldn’t totally disconnect myself from work. Yikes!
Although we didn’t bag an elk, Nick got hypothermia on night 1 and we were caught in a blizzard at 12,000 feet—I wouldn’t take it back for anything. That time away is just what I needed. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we need a break. For a decade, I worked myself to the point of a mental breakdown every year because I was afraid to take personal time. I was more than married to my career. What a terrible way to live! Sure people would admire my dedication, but inside I was secretly breaking down, almost to the point where the pieces couldn’t be put back together. If this is you, especially if you are an AT—please, please, please, STOP! It took me a long time, but now I get it.
Taking a break from your career does not mean you aren’t dedicated. It means you care about yourself and your own well-being too! I felt so much better when I came back. I was ready to tackle everything that was thrown my way. I didn’t regret taking 2 weeks for myself. My kids survived. My coaches survived. They were much more appreciative upon my return, I’ll tell you that. By allowing myself that time away, I was more present and able to better serve the needs of my athletes.
I plan on taking time for myself every year now, and I don’t feel guilty about it. My mental health, my emotional health, my well-being matters too. I will stop taking a backseat approach on my needs and my own life. If I find myself in a position where I need time away, I will take another break. At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I’m human too. I have work stress—and a lot of it sometimes. I need to be able to free myself and step away when it’s necessary. I can tell you what happens when you keep it all in for 9 years.
Give yourself a break! If you’re in a career where you are constantly taking care of others, do not be afraid to take care of yourself too. I can’t stress the importance enough. There is no need to feel guilt or shame for putting yourself first every now and then. Trust me when I tell you, that it will make a huge difference. If it doesn’t, please get in touch with me and call me a liar!