Sometimes Quitting is Winning

If you didn't already know, the season of Lent has started. Actually it begin last week, on Ash Wednesday to be exact and ends at Sundown on Holy Thursday, just before Easter. If you are totally confused, just stick with me here. Lent is a solemn observance for which we commemorate the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting in the desert. More simply put—it's a 40-day season that involves prayer, fasting and almsgiving, as we prepare to celebrate the Lord's resurrection at Easter. This religious observance is most widely recognized in the Catholic faith however, many Protestant churches also acknowledge this period in the Christian liturgical calendar. I know, I know. Enough of the formal jargon—just get on with it. I hear ya!

As a Catholic, during this period of Lent, there is a tradition of fasting and abstaining from meat on Ash Wednesday and all Friday's. In addition to extra time in prayer and almsgiving, we are called to focus on our self-discipline and fast in other ways throughout the season. Most often this is done in some form of sacrifice, however not necessarily a fast in the traditional food sense. You may hear someone say the phrase, “I gave that up for Lent”. While the point of it is to be silent and humble and not boast, it's hard not to admit when something is being offered that you have promised to forgo. And as I further delve into this, I will seem like a total hypocrite. But that’s ok for now because I want you to catch my drift. I’ll say an extra Hail Mary! Just kidding. Not how that works.  

I have observed lent for over 30 years now. As a child it's different because you don't fully understand but rather go through the motions—which I think is fine because it set me up to really appreciate what it all means as an adult. I don't recall truly fasting until I was about 16 maybe, but I did refrain from eating meat at a much earlier age. I did however always ‘give something up’ as we liked to proudly proclaim as kids. So what is that? What does it even mean to give something up for Lent? I mentioned earlier about focusing on self-discipline and fasting in other ways, such as sacrifice. The goal of Lent, while slightly different from person to person, is to find a sense of renewal. To become closer to Jesus in our faith and in our service to others, especially in terms of almsgiving. In order to do this, it requires that we give more of our time and attention to these things. A shift in priorities, if you will. 

From a young age, I was taught that during Lent we are to sacrifice something—or go without something that we really enjoy. Obviously as a child, giving up candy or toys for 40 days seemed like a huge sacrifice and for many years that was my selection. Now that I'm older and have a better grasp on the true meaning of Lent, my thought process offers a much deeper approach to what sacrifice and self-discipline actually mean. Yes, it's simple to just pick something to give up for 40 days and call it sacrifice because I could otherwise have it and I’m choosing not to. But that's not really the point. And to be honest, I'm sure there have been plenty of years where I cheated myself out of experiencing true sacrifice during Lent. I have done hard things, like give up coffee or alcohol for example. But what did I actually gain from that? And was it really a sacrifice when I could just drink something else? 

This year I decided to really crack down on myself for Lent and hit myself where it hurts. Why? Well, because I need to. I have let too many unimportant things take up important space in my life. Yes, I pray and go to church on Sunday but that's not enough to have a good, strong and faithful relationship with the Lord. There’s not a ton of sacrifice in that. It’s just something I do. Furthermore, by allowing the unimportant stuff to infiltrate my life—it came with consequences. Consequences that I no longer want to suffer with and that I have the power to change. And what better time to refocus myself and reprioritize than during Lent? So I had a heart-to-heart with myself—yikes! Those are always scary. I had to ask myself, “What is it that needs to change? What can I change to do better and be better? How can I shift my focus to the important things and get rid of the nonsense?” As I stumbled through my answers, I realized that I wanted to focus on bettering myself physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It's a huge undertaking all at once and would require A LOT of sacrifice. But I told myself, “I'm all in!” 

In order to achieve these goals and become renewed, and more focused on my faith, I needed to rid myself of some daily habits that were holding me back. I'm a huge cookie monster. Like almost to the point of an addiction. Choosing to forgo my beloved cookies for 40 days is going to be a big sacrifice—or is it? So I decided to take it a step further and do away with any and all sweets during Lent. Say what? Yeah, tough—I know. But it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make to get healthier. I can hear you silently criticizing me right now, “Seriously? Your sacrifice is giving up sweets? What a cop out. You could do without and not be phased.” True, but don't worry. There's more. That's the physical part of it. 

I had made this decision prior to Ash Wednesday mass because clearly Lent would have started and I needed to pick something. So I picked what I thought would be hard to go without but would also better me in the long run. Not sure that would be truly helping grow my faith, but hey stranger things have happened. As I listened to the homily, the priest talked about giving things up for Lent. He mentioned that we rarely, if ever, pick something that will truly be life-changing. We just pick something that we could deal without for a short period and call it sacrifice. Maybe it makes us a little better. Maybe it doesn't. Hmm—I think he's talking directly to me. Does he know what I picked? That resonated with me. At some point I heard mention of giving up Netflix and in my head I was like, “Man that would be so hard for some people”. But I also knew that those some people were not me. That wouldn't be that big of a deal for me. So what would? The wheels started turning—“life-changing, better myself, more time for prayer, closer to God, sacrifice”. The light bulb went off—“Facebook. That's it”. Wham Bam, Thank you ma'am! “I'm giving up Facebook!” Well actually, I once again decided to take it one step further. I'm giving up all social media. Damn, girl! Right?! 

So it's been almost a week. The urge and temptation are certainly there. I decided to make it extra hard on myself, because after all it’s a sacrifice, right? It would have been easy to just delete the apps off my phone for the time being so I didn’t have to worry or even think about it—but I didn't. I still get all the notifications, can see the red dots on the apps, but they just sit there in the cloud abyss on my phone. I chose to do this because it forces me to make a conscious decision and fight the urge and temptation. True sacrifice. I know it hasn't been long, but I can assure you the struggle has been real. Just like most other people, social media is a borderline addiction. Think I'm kidding—try going without. Luckily it’s not accompanied with the shakes like withdrawing from other addictions. You may be asking, is this really life-changing and will it be something that will help me grow into a better me? Well, in less than a week my screen time was down 25%. TWENTY FIVE PERCENT. That's insane. Folks, that was all social media time. Makes me sick to even think about. I wasted so much time and energy on something that repeatedly drained me of my time and energy! And truly adds very little if any value to my life. 

I was able to read a book in 2 days. It's been a long time since I could say that. So refreshing. I wake up, check the weather, my email and my ring data and then set my phone down and go about my business. It's amazing. That stupid thing used to be glued to me. Now, it sits in the last spot I left it until I stumble across it at some later point. Sometimes I'll almost go the whole day. Talk about liberating and life-changing. I'm so much happier. My emotions aren't all over the place, fighting demons that aren't even mine to begin with. I enjoy so much more quality time with my hubby. It actually seems like my days are a little longer. I know they are still 24 hours, but just give it to me. My time in prayer has been better. Everything has just been BETTER! 

Why am I telling you this? I promise I’m not just gloating about my Lenten sacrifice this year. You don’t care anyways and you shouldn’t. There are multiple reasons. The first one being—if you are observing Lent, make your sacrifice an actual sacrifice. Don't be afraid to pick something that you aren't sure you can do without. Be ok with your temptation being challenged. It's all part of it. A true sacrifice will always better your life in the end. If it doesn't hurt, it's not going to help. Please keep that in context though. It does not apply to all life scenarios! 

Second—even if Lent isn't a thing for you, give social media a rest. I promise it will change your life. You don't even have to walk away completely. Just limit your time. I think you'll be amazed at how your life will improve. We don't realize the havoc it wreaks on us mentally, socially and emotionally, until we pull ourselves away. Find a better way to occupy your time. There are plenty of enriching activities out there. Find one! 

And finally—remember that you control your life. Every aspect of it. Which means you are responsible for your mindset, your attitude, your emotions, your reactions. Everything! If you find yourself struggling in one or more of these areas, it’s time for a gut check. I quit social media because it was affecting my life—and not in a good way. Don’t worry about what others will think or feel about your absence. It’s not about them. It’s about you! Don’t forget that. You have to live in your own skin and walk in your own shoes. Do what you need to do for yourself. I’ve never been one to quit no matter how hard something got. I pushed myself to get through until it was over. I must admit that quitting social media feels pretty damn awesome! Plus there really is no end to it until Putin says so. So there’s that. Don’t be ashamed to be a quitter because sometimes quitting means #winning!