Same Storm. Different Boat.

You’ve heard the phrase over and over and maybe even uttered it yourself—“We’re all in the same boat.” A simple saying insinuating that everyone experiences misfortune to the same degree and/or suffers equally. We sometimes use it as a nice gesture to let others know they're not alone in their struggle. But more commonly, I think we use it when we feel someone is overreacting or complaining more than maybe we ourselves would, or more than the average person, let’s say. But we never think of it as undermining another person’s situation or feelings, even though it’s exactly what we’re doing. And let’s be real, why would we expect everyone to have the same experiences or same exact feelings? It’s so unrealistic, yet we do it—all the time! 

As I was scrolling through my social media feed the other day, I came across an image someone shared with words that read, “We are not all in the same boat. We are in the same storm. Some have yachts, some have canoes, and some are drowning. Just be kind and help whoever you can.” Just as I do with everything else, I gave it some thought; obviously enough to write about. What exactly does that mean? Does everyone read and understand that the same way? Is there more to it? A phrase I frequently use is, “We all struggle, but we all struggle different.” This seems to be right on par with the same storm, different boat analogy. So let's dive into this a little bit more, shall we? 

Struggling is part of life. There is no getting away from it. I don't know a single person that hasn't dealt with some hardship throughout their life. I'd argue that most of us experience daily struggles, even. And many times it's likely something similar to the next person. But rarely, if ever, is the degree of struggle or misfortune felt the same among people. It's just not. We are all unique as individuals and simply experience life different than one another. Case-and-point—We feel love different. We feel pain different. We feel joy different. We feel sadness different. We feel life different! It's complicated because although we experience the same emotions, we don't feel or express them the same way. Even when faced with the same adversity, the effect it has on each of us is quite different. It's never fair to assume that we are all in the same boat.

So let's think about the boats and the storm for a moment. Obviously the people on the yacht don't have it so bad, right? If the storm gets really bad, they can retreat into the cabin and ride it out, without fear. Meanwhile, by the looks of it, those in the canoe are just screwed. But what if the yacht capsizes? What if there is no safety boat, no life jackets and the people on board can't swim? What if the people in the canoe are wearing life jackets, are strong swimmers and have an extra life jacket on hand? It changes things doesn't it? 

You're probably asking—what's the point of all this? And the point is, we have to stop comparing our situations and struggles to others. It's not the same. It never will be. We have to stop making assumptions, especially with minimal insight and knowledge. Sometimes it seems like being on the yacht is really great, until it's not. Sometimes the canoe seems like a terrible idea, until it's not. A lot of pain can be hidden behind a smile and a lot of situations aren’t what they seem. Maybe it's not the boat we need to be worried about.

In the midst of my own personal struggle, I've had time to think about what all of this means. I know a handful of others who are in the same storm as me right now, yet we are not in the same boat. Without going into great detail, the differences are vast. The degree to which our lives are affected by the same struggle is extremely different for each of us. What if for one of us, the physical pain doesn’t seem nearly as bad? Or what if the impact it has on our day-to-day life isn’t as drastic as the others? Does that mean we're riding out the storm in a yacht? Are the others in a canoe, or worse yet, drowning? What if the lack of pain or direct impact was accompanied with an overwhelming emotional toll? Or what if it caused a devastating financial burden? Does that change the boat? 

We spend so much time comparing our boat to everyone else’s, while trying to weather the same storm. Why? Why does the boat even matter? I'm here to tell you—it doesn't matter. We should never strive to be in the same boat as others. It's ok to struggle different than someone else. It's ok to be in a different boat. And sometimes life's storms are fierce as hell and it really doesn't matter what boat you find yourself in. Bottomline—if you're able to help someone in the storm, please help them! In the storm from hell, I'd rather be struggling to stay afloat while saving others than watching someone suffer on a yacht with no help. 

So I'll leave you with this—the last and most important part of the phrase from earlier. “Just be kind and help whoever you can.” And finally, we should be thankful we're not all in the same boat. It allows us to rescue others and be rescued ourselves, when the storm is relentless! 

“Fear not, for I am with you. Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10