Losing My Religion
“I’m losing my religion to find you”. As I sit here, listening to this song by Lauren Daigle, these words—they speak to me. They speak to me on many levels. So let’s talk religion and faith.
I grew up Roman Catholic. Didn’t have much of a choice but rather was born into it. That’s kind of how it goes. I think I was a pretty good Catholic. Achieved baptism, First Holy Communion, Confirmation and Holy Matrimony. I’ve hit all the holy sacraments that I can, up to this point. My grandmother is the closest person to a Saint that I know. She has an amazing servants heart. Always has. Always will. She will cancel her plans to cover for other servers at the last minute, just to make sure mass would go off without a hitch. The rest of my family—well, we’re certainly not up for sainthood any time soon!
When I was in high school, I went to a Southern Baptist church with a friend. I was excited to experience something different. I was a little worried that maybe I wouldn’t fit in, but excited nonetheless. I don’t remember the exact conversation with the preacher, but I distinctly remember being called out. I was a new face in the church. Somehow it came up that I was Catholic. I may have even offered up that information. To this day, I’ll never forget being told that I was going to Hell—because I was Catholic. Just because I went to a different church. Just because my religion was different. I was mortified. I don’t know how else to explain it. I don’t recall going back after that.
The past few years, I’ve strayed away from the church, and not because I was told I was going to hell, back in high school. I’ve strayed away because it hasn’t felt right. I don’t agree with all the Catholic teachings and the way of the church. Rest assured though, my moral compass is still strong.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a believer. I believe in God. I believe in miracles. I believe in the power of prayer. I believe we all sin. I mostly believe in being a good human and treating everyone with kindness, regardless of who they are. But, it doesn’t appear there is a religion for that.
If someone asked me today if I consider myself Catholic or Christian, I’m not sure what my response would be. I’m sad to even think about it. By default and through holy sacraments, I am, although I don’t agree with all of it. I don’t agree with the hypocrisy. I don’t agree with the judgmental undertone.
I feel much closer to God now, than I ever have, and certainly more faithful since stepping away from the building and religion that held me captive in my guilt. My faith is strong, however. My religion—not as much. I question it. All. The. Time. I don’t mind going to Sunday mass. I’m not against it by any means. I’ve just grown away from it. I don’t need the social aspect to grow my faith.
One of the hardest things I grapple with, is the acceptance of all people. And I can hear you right now, reading this, “My religion and my church is not like that”. Yes it is! They all are. We just fall into this, “We’re Christian and everyone is accepted here” mentality. No, unfortunately that’s not how it works. You just haven’t been a victim of not being accepted for who you are. And if I’m being honest, neither have I, but I know people who have been turned away—from church, religion. Turned away because they don’t fit the “Christian” agenda that has been deciphered by man. It’s not up to us to pass judgment on people. We all sin. We just sin differently. We wonder why so many have walked away from church and no longer believe. It’s easy to just blame society, politics even. It’s crazy.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
It’s time we take a hard look at ourselves. If we truly consider ourself Christian and a follower of Christ, why is it that not everyone is welcome to join hands with us, and worship at our church? Why are people turned away? Why are some Sunday services somber and others like a rock concert, yet preaching the same message? It’s weird, right?
I’m not suggesting that we do away with religion. Actually, I love that each kind has a unique way of worship that’s different than the next. I also realize that some people need religion and the associated socialization of church to feel their faith. That’s awesome! Please don’t stop because you are reading my opinion!
Find your faith first. For me, I choose Jesus Christ. Religion is not necessary to be faithful. My personal opinion is that religion, particularly Christianity, has divided humanity. It makes me sad. If there is a religion for simply being a kind human and spreading happiness and cheer. That’s what I want to be a part of.