A Letter To My Younger Self

Dear Younger Me,

You are about to embark on the greatest journey you could ever hope for—life. But it’s going to be tough. You will be challenged. You will endure pain. You will experience struggle. But you will pick yourself up each and every time. And you will carry on. You will  experience some of the highest of highs and lowest of lows. That’s just a part of being human. You will be hurt and may feel betrayed at times. But you will also meet incredible people and form friendships that will outlast your lifetime. You will be an amazing human—if you just be yourself!

Here are the important things—

Slow down. Absorb all that life has to offer.

Life goes quick. Don't let it pass you by without even realizing it. Do the things you want. Take the chance when you get it. It may not come again. Don't grow up too fast. You have plenty of time. You don't ever want to look back and say, “I wish I would have done that.” Do it now! Seize every opportunity as you never know where it might lead you. Don't rush anything. Nothing worth having comes easy—so please, don't rush. Good things take time. Always. Don't wish away your hard days—grow from them. They happen for a reason. 

You are worth more than you think you are.

Don't underestimate or under value yourself and certainly never let anyone downgrade your worth. Ever. We live in a world for which we constantly feel the need to impress or at least seek our worth from others. Don't do that. Figure out your price tag, add tax, put yourself on the top shelf, and never go on sale. Your worth is never up for bargain! Remember that. It is normal however, to not always believe in yourself and be confident. That's ok. You are human, after all. But make damn sure you have someone in your life to constantly remind you, when you forget. Do the same for them. Just because you have a hard day, hard week, hard season—does not mean your worth decreases. To be honest, it may take struggle for you to realize your worth and that's ok too. 

Stop worrying.

Worrying changes nothing, but it will undoubtedly suck the life out of you. It's the worst energy sucker of them all. Hear me out—it's not worth it. Whether something happens or not—worrying will not change it. Most of the time we worry about things that will never happen anyways or are totally out of our control. It's unnecessary stress. Let go of it. When you feel uneasy and anxious about something, turn to God. He's got you, always. Don't let worry cloud your vision or your faith. Let go and Let God—you'll hear that a lot. Believe it. Trust it. 

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”—Matthew 6:34

You are stronger than you think.

Strength is tough sometimes. You might always think you don't have enough, but trust me—you do. Others will see your strength before you do. Believe people when they tell you, you are strong. They see it. You are physically strong, mentally strong, and emotionally strong. Stop thinking you’re not strong enough to get through tough times, regardless of the strength required. That’s bullshit. You can do it and you will do it. Look in the mirror. Take a deep breath. Born is your strength, girl. You will handle whatever life throws at you. And you will handle it with dignity and grace. How many things have you already overcome? That’s strength. 

Stop Beating Yourself Up. 

This is going to sting but it’s the truth—you’re not perfect and you never will be. But you’re perfectly imperfect and that’s what makes you amazing. No one is perfect and if you find people who proclaim they are, leave them. They are not your people. Be ok with being a work in progress. You’re not perfect but you are a perfectionist—I get it. As a result, you will struggle, because nothing will ever be good enough. Be prepared for repeated heartbreak and the mental anguish that comes along with it.  It’s ok to fail and make mistakes. That’s how you learn and grow. You have your entire life to work on yourself. Be patient. Give yourself the same grace you so freely give others.

Be grateful for everything.

Always have an attitude of gratitude. I promise you will be much happier. You're going to meet people that have absolutely everything and you're going to meet people who don't have a pot to piss in. And that’s ok. Wherever you are on that spectrum—be gracious and thankful. Could things be better? Certainly. Could things be worse? You better believe it. The more you appreciate, the less you need. It's a great feeling. Don't wish for what you don't have, work for what you want and enjoy what you do have. Regardless of what life throws at you, there is always something to be grateful for. Focus your energy on that. 

Enjoy the little things. 

What exactly are the little things? It's the many things we take for granted. The simple treasures in life. It's focusing your attention on the people and things that bring you joy and nurture your life. It's grabbing a beer with a friend. It's an overly satisfying cup of coffee. It's a gorgeous sunrise. It's a hike in nature. It's a good book. It's a phone call that turns your day around. It's an unexpected blessing. It's so many things. Embrace them all. I believe the little things in life are actually the big things. And we should value them more than we do. As the saying goes, “stop and smell the roses” every once in a while. Take time and enjoy the simple beauties of life. They are often overlooked yet bring us the most joy. 

Always be kind to others.

Kindness is so important. It can create the greatest ripple effect ever. Let it always begin with you. Never underestimate the power of a smile, a small gesture, or even a hug. It can change someone's life forever. Maya Angelou said it best, “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Always encourage and empower others. It will help you too—I promise. Paying it forward is one of the greatest feelings in the world—make sure you're a part of it. Always remember to never let anger or frustration steal kindness from your heart. Everyone has bad days. Everyone struggles. On those days—make more of an effort to be a kind human. You will never regret being kind. 

Stop caring about what others think of you.

This will be hard, but you can do it. Your life is your very own. It's not anyone else's. So don't worry about what others think. Some people will love you. Some won't. That's just life and not up to you to decide. No one's opinion of you really matters, except for your own. You don't need approval, for any reason. Live your life the way you want! If you want to be a tomboy—do it. If you want to get dolled up—do it. If you want to smoke a cigar and sip bourbon—do it. If you want to wear sneakers at your wedding—do it. If you want to rock a backwards ball cap—do it. If you want to be a little crazy—do it. If you want to tell someone to fuck off—do it...but do it nicely! Whatever you do, just be you. Don't live your life pleasing others. Make sure you're happy and satisfied with yourself. A quote to remember, “Someone else's opinion of you is none of your business.” —Rachel Hollis.

Read that again. Read it as many times as you need. 

Find Your Tribe. Love Them Hard.

You will meet so many people throughout your life. Some you'll wish you never met, but others will be the greatest blessings you could have ever hoped for. Your job is to realize who the blessings are—let them in and keep them. Let them be a part of your journey—in good times and bad. If someone is by your side and willing to love you through your worst of times, when you are unlovable, they are worthy of a permanent seat at your table. These are your people. Recognize that. Don’t push them away. If you do—go back and get them, quick. You need them and they need you! Make sure you’re a rock for them too. Be willing to make sacrifices and love your people in their darkest moments. That’s what makes life so great—being able to love and help others.

Don't let fear hold you back. 

Fear tends to be an enemy to the very best of us, but don't let it be you. If you're afraid to do something or to take that big leap—it likely means that you should be doing it. Despite the fact that we love to be comfortable, we don't grow from our comfort zones. It's ok to be scared, but do it anyways. Think of fear as a challenge. Don't back down. Just tackle it head on. Don't ever be afraid to fail. But always be afraid of not trying. Fear is merely a feeling—an emotion. Don't let it control you. 

Pain is so hard, but don't let it harden your heart. 

You will experience pain. We all do. No one is immune from it. It may be a deep hurt and something you've never felt before. It may lead you to question a lot of things. It may even leave a scar and that's ok. A scar is a symbol of a healed wound. It's ok to turn to others when you're hurt, but never turn your pain on someone else. Pain is a part of life and something we must endure. It may come at a time when you're already knocked down. It never seems to have good timing. But we grow through the trying times. Pain won't last forever unless you let it. It's ok to feel pain. Feel all of it. And then let it go and move on. Don't let it consume you—because it will. Don't let pain keep you from experiencing the rest of your life. 

You are capable of doing hard things. Do them. 

Don't let anyone tell you that you can't do something. I don't care what it is. Prove them wrong. Every. Single. Time. Go do all the hard things, whatever they may be. Keep challenging yourself. Keep pushing yourself. You'll never know your limits if you never try. 

You, my dear, are amazing and have a wonderful life ahead of you. Take all of it in stride. Be the very best you can. Never give up and never give in. Don't let anyone hold you back, including yourself. Go do and be all the incredible things God has planned for you and your life. You won't be disappointed! And when you lose your way, as we all do from time to time, listen to that little voice reminding you—

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” —Philippians 4:13 

Love,

Your Future Self